The Entirety of Human Evil vs. One Pickle: Who Would Win?

By Harmony Kinnear

Nothin’ new about pickling

In a way, every jar of pickles is participating in a centuries-old battle: warding off invisible evils, whether supernatural or microbial.

Pickling is not new. It’s old. Like, really, really old. In the days of yore, we believed our physical and spiritual body to be one in the same and that pickling gave food prosperity and warded off bad vibes. Cut to our modern era, things have changed and yet they’ve stayed the same. So let's explore the briny depths of pickling's paranormal history to understand our modern obsession.

Pickling for good or bad?

In Britain, vinegar has been more than a just a preservative, it’s a tool in witchcraft. Folktales describe witches using vinegar in their spells, to trap misfortune, sour relationships, or hex enemies. A pinch of herbs in vinegar, left in a jar, could symbolically set an intention. At the same time, ordinary households relied on vinegar to keep food safe from spoilage, unknowingly harnessing the same preserving power.

Pickles at midnight

You’ve probably heard of 12 grapes under a table but what about a rollmop eaten calmly standing up? In Scandinavia, the tradition of eating pickled herring on New Year's Day has a history spanning centuries. The herring is a symbol of abundance, as it’s a fish found in large numbers. Eating pickled herring has become an important part of New Year's celebrations in Scandinavia, signifying hope and good things to come.

So, if the grapes didn’t work last year, maybe give the pickled fish a go.

Superstitious pickling

In many parts of India, pickles (achaar) show up at weddings and big family gatherings not just as a side dish, but as a dinner staple. These intensely spiced, oil-soaked fruits and vegetables are symbols of preservation, patience, and transformation.

In some traditions, pregnant women are discouraged from making pickles because it’s believed the batch might spoil. In others, only certain family members are “allowed” to prepare them so the energy stays right. Whether you chalk this up to folklore or fermentation science, one thing is clear: people take their pickles seriously.

Why we still pickle ourselves silly 

For most of human history, people didn’t understand why pickling worked so well at preserving food. They just knew it lasted longer and kept their families healthier. Today we understand that pickling vinegar doesn’t just add flavour and texture, it comes with added health benefits. 

• Supports blood sugar regulation – Vinegar contains acetic acid, which has been linked to improved blood sugar control by slowing how quickly carbohydrates are absorbed. In practical terms, that sharp little pickle alongside your sandwich is helping to soften your post-meal sugar spike.
• Provides electrolytes – Pickling liquid contains sodium, an electrolyte your body uses to maintain fluid balance and support muscle and nerve function. This is why pickle brine has been long used as a remedy for cramps and dehydration, particularly among athletes. 
• Keeps the nutrients in the jar – Pickling helps preserve many of the vitamins and antioxidants already present in vegetables. It extends the shelf life while keeping vegetables recogniseable…as, well, vegetables. 
• Increases your intake of vegetables – Possibly the most underrated aspect of pickling (other than it’s ability to overcome evil) is that it makes everything taste better. Bright, crunchy, pickles transform otherwise dull lunches into something exciting. In short, pickling gets more healthy food onto your plate. Bosh!

So, who wins?

For a long time pickling has been doing double duty: protecting food from spoilage and keeping evil forces at bay. Perhaps preventing blood sugar spikes, food waste and boring lunches isn’t quite as exciting, but the principle is still the same. Pickling preserves nutrients, adds flavour and helps you eat more vegetables. The only difference now is that you don’t have to make the liquid yourself.

Sylt has taken a centuries-old magic of pickling and made it easier for busy people to turn whatever’s sitting in the fridge into something glorious. 

Human evil may be persistent but the humble pickle has been holding the line for thousands of years. And with a jar, some veg and a bottle of pickling liquid, it’s going to keep on winning.